The Stranger’s morning news roundup.

by Nathalie Graham

Nightmare threesome: On Friday, two people named Bob Ferguson filed to run for governor as Democrats. In case you weren’t aware, Washington’s Attorney General and the current Democratic front-runner in that race is also named Bob Ferguson. Unlike Bob Ferguson #2 (a retired state employee in Yakima) and Bob Ferguson #3 (a military veteran in Graham), AG Bob Ferguson is a legitimate candidate. Conservative activist Glen Morgan found these other two Bobby Fergs and convinced them to file in what is clearly a pathetic effort to confuse voters. “If I had started a little bit earlier, I would have been able to have six Bob Fergusons,” Morgan told the Seattle Times. “I contacted about 12. I just ran out of time.” It’s unclear how the Secretary of State will handle the case of the three Bob Fergusons. The Northwest Progressive Institute thinks the fake Bobs are committing felonies. The Bobs have until today at 5 pm to withdraw from the race. 

Michael Cohen takes the stand: Donald Trump’s former lawyer and “fixer,” Michael Cohen, is the key witness in Trump’s criminal hush-money case. Cohen paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 to keep her affair with Trump quiet during the 2016 presidential campaign. While reimbursing Cohen for that money, the prosecution alleges Trump falsified business records as a cover-up. Cohen took the stand Monday morning. 

Man dead after Capitol Hill light rail stabbing: On Saturday evening, before 6 pm, a 37-year-old man was stabbed to death at the Capitol Hill light rail station. The stabbing occurred in the middle of a station crowded with commuters heading to Mariners games and concerts. Police are still trying to find a suspect. They shut down the station Saturday night to conduct their investigation. According to the Capitol Hill Seattle Blog, the victim worked at nearby restaurant Harry’s Fine Foods. 

Did you see the Northern Lights? The Aurora Borealis lit up the night sky multiple nights this weekend thanks to a powerful geomagnetic storm. The lights were even visible across the sky over light-polluted Seattle. People strolled the streets at midnight, craning their necks upward. On my block, clusters of people looking to the sky made sure passersby saw as well. How could they not? The pink and green splotches, like some great being spilled paint, were everywhere. Thanks for the momentary magic, night sky. 

Extraordinary #aurora views at NWS Seattle. #wawx pic.twitter.com/mHBwZVhPja

— NWS Seattle (@NWSSeattle) May 11, 2024

Some weather: Things will cool down Monday compared to the balmy weekend. Expect highs in the 60s today. Warming will continue as the week goes on and we may find ourselves soaking in more 80-degree days come Wednesday. 

Biden’s Seattle stint: Joe Biden made two stops at fundraising events in Seattle this weekend. The first, on Friday, happened downtown at the Lotte Hotel, where protesters against the Israel-Hamas war gathered outside. Biden made no mention of the war and instead talked about Donald Trump’s threat to democracy. On Saturday, at a fundraising event in Medina hosted by former Microsoft President Jon Shirley, Biden briefly mentioned the war, stating “Israel said it’s up to Hamas. If they wanted to do it, we could end tomorrow.” Then, he said, “I guess I shouldn’t get into all of this” and talked about Trump again. He also said he wants to poach Gov. Jay Inslee for a role in his cabinet if Biden wins re-election. 

In Rafah: Over 300,000 Palestinians fled Rafah over the weekend, fleeing the Israeli forces pushing further into the southern Gaza city. 

Students walked out of Duke graduation: During commencement speaker Jerry Seinfeld’s address, students walked out of their Duke University graduation. Many carried Palestinian flags. Seinfeld has been vocally supportive of Israel during the war.

student walkout at Duke university commencement as Jerry Seinfeld’s speech is announced. his introduction by university president is being drowned out by “free free Palestine” chants ❤️‍🔥🇵🇸 pic.twitter.com/oNLesaput3

— the great clown snorman (@iamschvitzing) May 12, 2024

Meanwhile: A Seattle-area church, The Pursuit NW, staged a counterprotest to the University of Washington Gaza solidarity encampment. The “United for Israel” march drew hundreds of participants. While conflict between the two groups was anticipated, the event ended without incident. 

TODAY: UW United Front For Palestinian Liberation prep for the Pursuit Church’s pro-Israel march, which is set to route through the encampment later today. https://t.co/DIC2jWHJ7V

— Hannah Krieg (@hannahkrieg) May 12, 2024

Steve Buscemi punched: Who the hell punched Steve Buscemi on the streets of New York on Sunday? Show yourself. I just want to talk. Buscemi, attacked while walking in Midtown Manhattan, went to the hospital “with bruising, swelling and bleeding to his left eye.” He said he is okay. 

Panda dog pandemonium: A Chinese zoo is facing some heat for putting two dogs painted like pandas inside an exhibit and calling them “panda dogs.” In reality, the dogs are Chow Chows and have no relation to pandas. This, somehow, is not the first time China has experienced controversy over panda-painted dogs. 

Are you going to the big event today? “Gays Eating Garlic Bread in the Park” is happening from 3 pm to 10 pm at Meridian Park today. Those are peak garlic-bread-eating hours. 

Is someone trying to trap me? pic.twitter.com/NKkeX48uWN

— dj compact disc jokey🇵🇸 🇪🇭 🥀 (@divergentfemme) April 30, 2024

Woman found living inside grocery store sign: A woman set up her home inside the sign of Family Fare, a Michigan grocery store. The woman, who had been living there for a year, “had flooring, a computer, a desk, a printer, a Keurig and a pantry of food in the space which was 10 to 15 feet long, five feet wide and approximately 8 feet tall” according to NBC News. This is one of those quirky stories that’s entertaining until you realize the root of this whole thing is that the housing situation in our country is so dire a woman would climb onto a grocery store roof and take up residence inside the store’s sign in order to survive. 

Trump leads in five battleground states: What year is it? Trump leads Biden in the polls in Michigan, Arizona, Nevada, Georgia, and Pennsylvania. Biden is only ahead in one battleground state: Wisconsin. Biden’s popularity is plummeting as voters, among other things, worry about the economy and fret over America’s role in the Israel-Hamas war. 

This is my new favorite video of all time: The bus is a portal to a realm where anything can happen. You have no power on the bus. You are but an observer. Who will you meet there? Maybe a man trying to sleep in a hammock. Maybe god. 

This is the craziest shit I’ve ever seen pic.twitter.com/wc1YGw1oE8

— Microplastics Exploder (@DiabolicalSpuds) May 12, 2024

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