Very funny.

by Rich Smith

The New York Times and every other outlet reports that a jury found Donald Trump guilty on all 34 counts in the hush-money case leveled against him by Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg. The jury found that Trump falsified business documents to conceal a $130,000 payment to keep porn star Stormy Daniels quiet on the matter of her “sexual liaison” with Trump. The verdict makes Trump somehow the first American president ever convicted of a felony. According to the Times, the former president “sat largely expressionless, a glum look on his face, after the jury issued its verdict.” 

The sentencing hearing is scheduled for July 11—just four days ahead of the Republican National Convention—but “he could receive probation when he is sentenced, and he is certain to appeal the verdict—meaning it may be years before the case is resolved,” the Times reports. 

Nevertheless, I’m guessing we’re ten minutes away from a “lock him up :)” tweet from Hillary Clinton. 

I’m sure his troops will rally around him, but for now his investors are not: 

*DONALD TRUMP FOUND GUILTY AT NEW YORK HUSH MONEY TRIAL$DJT plunges pic.twitter.com/VDSJeJ9ViM

— Katie Greifeld (@kgreifeld) May 30, 2024

Now to the Official Statement Parade before we discuss potential impacts on the election. 

You won’t be surprised to learn that Trump slipped in a little anti-Semitic nonsense in his post-verdict statement, blaming the “Soros-backed” lawyer and the Biden Administration for the “rigged trial.” 

Full Trump reaction outside courthouse to guilty verdicts … pic.twitter.com/IE9W7vP49K

— Howard Mortman (@HowardMortman) May 30, 2024

The Biden-Harris campaign said “no one is above the law,” but they emphasized that the only way to keep Trump out of office is to beat him at the ballot box: 

Biden-Harris Campaign Statement on Today’s Verdict pic.twitter.com/TEmdNsPmzP

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) May 30, 2024

Washington State Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate Bob Ferguson slammed “Dave Reichert’s candidate for president” and kept banging on with his law-and-order messaging: 

Laws matter in this country. Dave Reichert’s candidate for president just got convicted of 34 felonies. I’m running for Governor to uphold the law. America must not elect a convicted felon for president.

— Bob Ferguson (@BobFergusonAG) May 30, 2024

Okay, now, to address the two burning questions: Will he be able to vote for himself in November, and to what extent will these 34 felony convictions change Trump’s chances of winning the election?

On the former question, Washington Post columnist Catherine Rampell reports that Trump could vote for himself so long as he’s not in prison, since Florida’s law barring felons from voting doesn’t apply to convictions outside the state. 

On the latter question, 538 political analyst Nathaniel Rakish argues that the conviction might hurt Trump a little, but not for a long time. A look at polls that asked voters if they’d still support or cast a ballot for a felonious Trump found that the former president loses five points of support while Biden only gains one point. So, it’s not like people would be jumping from Trump to Biden; they’d throw their votes away on other candidates instead. But, as Rakish argues, one point ain’t nothing, especially in a race this close. 

My vote for the best conclusion:

Hochul should pardon him in November so it can’t be overturned on appeal.

— Dan Riffle (@DanRiffle) May 30, 2024 The Stranger

Fremont Fair & Solstice Parade, TRANSlations Film Festival, and More

by EverOut Staff

June is here, which means summer has arrived, not to mention Pride MonthJuneteenth, and Father’s Day! To bring a little color to your calendar, we’ve compiled the biggest events you need to know about in every genre, from the Queer/Pride Festival to TRANSlations: 19th Annual Seattle Trans Film Festival, from Vampire Weekend to Jinkx Monsoon & Major Scales: Together Again, Again!, and from the Fremont Fair & Solstice Parade to The Stranger’s Burger Week. You can also find even more things to do this month on our June events calendar.

COMEDY

Hannah Gadsby: Woof!
Hannah Gadsby really shook things up with her 2018 Netflix special Nanette, which landed the furious, courageous comic an Emmy, a Peabody, and a newfound audience who resonated with her brutally honest stand-up style. Gadsby found herself with plenty of time to “ponder” during the pandemic, so I’m stoked to see what she’s come up with this time—The Guardian described Woof! as “refusing to toe the line.LINDSAY COSTELLO
Moore Theatre, Belltown (Fri June 7)

The Stranger

Lemon Boy play Southgate Roller Rink Friday, May 31.

by Alexa Peters

The first time I heard Lemon Boy, the scorching pop-punk brainchild of Nicole Giusti and Yaz Ahsani, I was wearing glitter wings in an audience of prosthetic-eared goblins and maidens with floral crowns. This was last month, at Springtime in the Shire, a whimsical and unpretentious “fantasy crossover costume party” at the Capitol Hill DIY venue Mosswood Loft. Lemon Boy opened the party with a biting set, setting the tone for the rest of the bill: Faerie Born, Salt Lick, and Sux.

Perhaps it was the beastly company, or maybe the wings, but Lemon Boy’s set took me somewhere else that night. I went back to the days of Bikini Kill, Van Halen, and Blink-182, and back to Seattle in the late 2010s, when bands like Tacocat, Mommy Long Legs, and Chastity Belt reigned supreme. But I also got a glimpse of the future, a time when being femme and non-white in the Seattle DIY scene will no longer be notable, but normal.

Lemon Boy will celebrate the release of their bratty, brow-raising debut Eat. Skate. Die. on Friday, May 31, at Southgate Roller Rink. With rebel politics, a dark sense of humor, and the counterbalance of an upbeat pop sensibility, the band is a natural fit in the lineage of local womxn-led punk bands. Yet, Giusti and Ahsani are both transplants to the area: Giusti, who used to be a software engineer, moved here from California in 2016, and Ahsani, a visual artist, arrived by way of North Carolina in 2019. (In fact, the two are combining their professional skill sets and developing an indie video game about being in a punk band as you read this.)

Growing up, Giusti and Ahsani participated in school band and played guitar. Giusti had the good fortune of stumbling upon an all-ages show at Vera Project during a family vacation to Seattle as a teenager. Ahsani, a Florida native, was exposed to riot grrrl in high school through her classmate, Mia Berrin, who went on to start the band Pom Pom Squad.

“She was like, ‘I’m going to start an all-girl punk band,’ so we were jamming in high school,” said Ahsani during a recent phone call. “She was like, ‘You should look at these zines.’ And I was like, ‘What are zines?’ Honestly, I would attribute Mia to introducing me [to riot grrrl].”

Skate or die: Lemon Boy BFFs at Southgate Roller Rink. BRITTNE LUNNISS

Guisti and Ahsani met when a mutual friend, knowing they were both looking for other female musicians to play music with, organized a night at Southgate Roller Rink to introduce them. Quickly, the two bonded over “riot grrrl, music in the modern era of the movement, and general crusty punk bands.” They also discovered a mutual passion for skating and started shredding parking garages together.

“Nicole is an extremely talented roller-skater—she drops into bowls, does crazy tricks—and I’ve been skateboarding since I was a kid,” said Ahsani. “We spent the summers of the pandemic skating for hours, and that really strengthened our relationship and made us realize we had a lot in common with the playlists we’d put together.”

They skated to bands like FIDLAR, Prince Daddy & the Hyena, Tacocat, Mommy Long Legs, and Mom Jeans, and once pandemic restrictions loosened, Giusti and Ahsani started jamming. From there, interactions with other musicians on the scene kept them going.

“I got a few tattoos from Lolli [Morlock] and talked about her experience in Mommy Long Legs,” said Giusti. “Lolli was so encouraging and sweet when I mentioned wanting to play music and start a band, too. It meant a lot. The first time Yaz and I ever jammed together, we covered a Mommy Long Legs song.”

Around that same time, Giusti and Ahsani discovered that Bree Mckenna (Tacocat and Childbirth) and Robin Edwards (Lisa Prank) were teaching a songwriting class at Hugo House. Ahsani had to work, but Giusti attended and their class helped her build confidence in her voice as a songwriter and in her collaboration with Ahsani.

“The first time we heard Nicole’s songs we knew she was a star! Her songs are amazing,” said Edwards, in an email. “Then we came to a Lemon Boy show a little while after the workshop ended and were so stoked about the band.”

<a href=”https://lemonboyband.bandcamp.com/album/eat-skate-die”>Eat. Skate. Die. by LEMON BOY</a>

Lemon Boy officially formed in 2021 after looping in drummer Ethan Geller. Their debut record Eat. Skate. Die. is named after the band’s mantra, a cheeky riff on “Eat. Pray. Love.” 

The nine-track record explores a variety of themes familiar to riot grrrl. “Body Horror,” driven by Ahsani’s distorted guitar riff and emphatic lyrics like, “I’m the master of this body!” races along like a demented locomotive, dissecting body agency, sexist beauty standards, dysmorphia, and existentialism. “Guitar Center,” inspired by a condescending male Guitar Center employee who “quizzed” Giusti on her knowledge of amplifiers, attacks sexism in the music industry head-on. Ahsani crushes through the stereotypical riffs guitar store dudebros always play too loud, adding humor to their call-out.

<a href=”https://lemonboyband.bandcamp.com/album/eat-skate-die”>Eat. Skate. Die. by LEMON BOY</a>

Eat. Skate. Die. also contends with religious trauma, racism, and points of view unique to Giusti and Ahsani’s experiences as women of color and the children of immigrants. In Iran, it’s illegal for women to play music, and a disapproving attitude pervades Ahsani’s dynamic with her extended family. Giusti, too, contended with strict gender roles and other challenges as she was raised in the Filipino religion of Iglesia ni Cristo.  

“We know what it’s like to feel like you don’t quite belong both in your family’s world and your current cultural environment, in this case, the United States,” said Ahsani.

Their backgrounds also make Lemon Boy sonically distinctive. Ahsani is inspired by rhythmic language of Persian music, which is based on intricate, syncopated patterns. Likewise, Giusti is influenced by Filipino music, like the Manila-based band Hotdog, and karaoke.

“I’m better at karaoke than I am at Lemon Boy,” Giusti jokes.

With ferocity, fun, and a genuine connection to Seattle’s femme-punk past and present, Eat. Skate. Die. rewrites toxic narratives from Giusti and Ahsani’s upbringings and society at large. Lemon Boy is also unabashed about scrutinizing Seattle’s culture, and, along with other local bands featuring people of color making waves—like Black Ends, a favorite of Lemon Boys’—they’re giving rise to a more inclusive era in Seattle DIY music.

“Riot grrrl, its PNW origins, and the Seattle DIY scene have historically been extremely white, and as women of color we want to break the mold and prove that anyone can be ‘punk,’” said Giusti. “Now that there’s this new wave of more diverse and intersectional riot grrrl, we just hope we’re doing it justice with our own contribution.”

Lemon Boy play Southgate Roller Rink Friday, May 31 with Queen Chimera and Cottage Corpse, 9 pm, $18 for the show/$5 to skate, 21+.

The Stranger

Yay, burgers!

by The Stranger’s Promotions Department

Burger lovers, your time has come. Again! 

The Stranger‘s Burger Week is back and we’ve partnered with Jack Daniels to make this year’s week o’ burgs bigger than ever before.

From June 10 through June 16, you’ll find original, specialty burgers at 17 burger joints across town for just $12. You can’t even get a measly turkey sandwich for that kind of cash any more!!!

You can find the full list of participating restaurants, high-quality photos, and detailed descriptions of all the big, beautiful, beefy burgers right here. Taku is coming in hot with the Karaage Heat, a fat, crispy piece of Japanese fried chicken, Shota’s secret sauce, nori cilantro coleslaw, and Japanese tartar sauce stacked between a toasted potato roll. Loretta’s Northwesterner, who serves one of our favorite burgers in the city, is offering up the San Antonio Bean Burger, a chuck patty with pico de gallo, refried beans, cheddar cheese, and FRITOS! Motherfucking FRITOS! 

There are options for you, too, vegans and vegetarians! Sunlight Cafe’s Vegan Tofu Burger is slathered with garlic ginger sauce and chipotle aioli and Veggie Grill’s Steakhouse Burger is made with the plant-based Beyond Burger patty. 

The Stranger also drew up a burger treasure map to help you find your way to gustatory happiness. When you discover one or two or three that you like, don’t keep your bliss all bottled up! Tell your friends and foes on social media using the hashtag #seattleburgerweek. 

As always, thank you for enjoying and partaking in The Stranger’s food weeks. And most of all, thank you for supporting small, local businesses. YOU’RE THE BEST.

The Stranger

See someone? Say something!

by Anonymous

Caroline Rose show 5/18

You: cute redhead with a very cool Frank Lloyd Wright stained glass tattoo on your arm. I’ve got one in my apartment already, wanna make it two?

Hubba hubba

Saw you standing outside of Elliott Bay Books eating a savory pinwheel lookin all hunky. Were you also there for the Melissa Broder book tour?

Curious Old Woman at the Henry Museum

We talked about the clay galaxy hands for a bit, but I wish you had said more! Anyways, you made an appearance in the poem like I promised.

Otter bar + Memorial Day morning

We briefly chatted at Otter about how quick your mile is. 😉 saw you in green lake with your pup Memorial Day AM. Wish I’d said hi

NO BARKING

Whoever the genius is altering all the “No Parking” signs on Union to say “No Barking” with flawless execution….let’s be friends.

Madrona Beach 5/12, green bike, great smile

You were a smokin hot babe who rode up on a green bike, I was with a group of friends and kids in a yellow suit. What were you reading?

Queen Anne Safeway

You and your fire station were shopping for groceries and I was close to setting the produce section on fire for an excuse to talk to you.

To Light haired man standing in line at Hazelwood in Ballard last night, wearing gray hoodie with “We Are Meant for Climbing” text on the back wearing black joggers

I saw you looking back at me a few times while we were in line, you were with a friend in a black and red flannel shirt. I had black braids, glasses.

Is it a match? Leave a comment here or on our Instagram post to connect! 

Did you see someone? Say something! Submit your own I Saw U message here and maybe we’ll include it in the next roundup!

The Stranger

The Stranger’s morning news roundup.

by Hannah Krieg

Weather: Some weather yesterday, huh? If you got caught outside without a rain jacket during that lil downpour, rest assured that will not happen today… unless the weather nerds got it wrong, in which case I’m sorry to have misled you. According to the National Weather Service, we can expect mostly sunny skies and temperatures in the low to mid 60s. If you can’t get outside today, fear not. Friday should be similarly nice before we embark on a rainy weekend. 

A view of the Cascades from our roof this morning. The convergence zone is finally dissipating this morning.

Don’t get used to the sun. Rain returns early next week. But there’s hope for warmth and sunshine toward the end of next week. #wawx pic.twitter.com/N94Qo83Iyr

— NWS Seattle (@NWSSeattle) May 30, 2024

All eyes on Rafah: According to Al Jazeera this morning, Israeli forces have killed at least 53 Palestinians in Rafah and injured 357 more in the last 24 hour reporting period. At least 37 were killed in airstrikes. Most died while sitting in tents, as Israel is bombing a refugee camp after all. Since Oct 7, Israel has killed at least 36,224 Palestinians and injured at least 81,777. With President Joe Biden still willing to pay for the genocide and Israel fully taking over the border between Egypt and Gaza, the horrors continue. 

Instead of AI Instagram stories, look at reality:

More than 600,000 children are sheltering in tents in Rafah right now as they are getting intensely bombed – nowhere else left to go.

This is not war, this is genocide. pic.twitter.com/x2A6BdHMsE

— Mohamad Safa (@mhdksafa) May 29, 2024

FYI: Earlier this week, Puget Sound Energy (PSE) announced it will once again start shutting off utilities for households who have fallen behind on their bills. This move threatens power, heat, and, air conditioning for tens of thousands of low-income families who have enjoyed protections from disconnections since late 2022. Washington State Community Action Partnership (WSCAP), Front and Centered, the NW Energy Coalition, the Sierra Club, and Washington Conservation Action sent a press release yesterday shaming the Washington Utilities and Transportation Commission for letting PSE roll back such an important equity and public health measure. Can we get a big, collective “boo” for PSE and the Commission in the chat? 

No more car deaths: The fatal crash on MLK yesterday marks Seattle’s sixth traffic death in a week, according to Urbanist reporter Ryan Packer. While our city council and Mayor waste time pushing a repeal of the gig worker minimum wage, trying to slash funds for BIPOC affordable housing and community centers, and bending over backwards to pay cops as much as possible, they ignore the crisis that is car-dependency. In fact, Mayor Bruce Harrell’s transportation levy draft continues the deadly tradition of over-investing in car infrastructure at the expense of the robust transit and improved walkability we need to escape one of the country’s leading causes of death.

Today’s fatal crash in Seattle actually marks the sixth person to be killed in the last week.

Just found out about a crash on Aurora Ave on Thursday, May 23, that took the life of UW medical assistant Stephen Willis, near Aurora and N Northgate Way. pic.twitter.com/GsEWGbVVIU

— Ryan Packer (@typewriteralley) May 29, 2024

New chief in town: After Ashley broke the news that former Seattle Police Department (SPD) Chief Adrian Diaz would leave his position, Mayor Bruce Harrell announced in a press conference yesterday that the legal-battle-embroiled and accused creep will still be with the department and that Sue Rahr would take his place temporarily while the City conducted a nationwide search for a new top cop. Harrell said Rahr will not apply for the position and that he would prefer to hire someone from outside the department to help change the boys club culture of SPD. However, he’s not excluding internal hires, which tbh might deter qualified outside candidates. 

My take: So, this press conference put me in such a bad mood because the whole time Harrell just praised and praised Diaz, insisting that he was a “good person” and his friend. But at the same time, four women accused him of “grooming” and “predatory behavior.” I can’t help thinking about when accusations surfaced about disgraced Mayor Ed Murray allegedly sexually abusing children and Harrell defended Murray’s good name until the bitter end. Harrell supporters Harriet Walden and Victoria Beach came to the press conference to defend Diaz and refute the allegations, to which Harrell said he respects Beach’s opinion. I just don’t think you can have it both ways, Harrell. You cannot foster an environment that’s safe for women and that encourages accusers to come forward when you “respect” the “opinion” that the accusers are full of shit. 

Harrell is really doubling down that Diaz is “a good human being.” Meanwhile, four women accused him of “grooming” and “predatory behavior.” But what do you expect from Ed Murray’s hardest rider! https://t.co/52dGpY2mLw

— Hannah Krieg (@hannahkrieg) May 29, 2024

Speaking of accusers: Dan Price, the Gravity Payments CEO, who you probably know from the good thing he did for his workers and not the allegations against him, has returned to the company. Price resigned in 2022 to “focus full time on fighting” what he called “false accusations” that he attempted to kiss a 26-year-old woman and then grabbed her throat when she refused. Those charges got dropped in 2023, but she’s really not the only one who claimed to have a bad experience with Price.

Hush money: The jury in former President Donald Trump’s hush-money case went home after more than four hours of deliberations and no verdict. They will resume talks today and rehear some key testimony to inform their historic decision.

Hong Kong: In Hong Kong’s biggest national security case, the court found fourteen pro-democracy activists guilty of conspiracy to commit subversion for planning an unofficial primary election on the heels of the 2019 protest movement. Some may face life sentences, including former lawmakers Leung Kwok-hung, Lam Cheuk-ting, Helena Wong, and Raymond Chan. 

Alito: Sure, the press may have caught Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito flying not one but two flags that indicate sympathy with Jan 6 insurrectionists, but that doesn’t make him unfit to judge Former President Donald Trump’s absolute immunity case, right? Democratic lawmakers say it does, but Alito responded to their demands for him to recuse himself with a big, fat “no.” He wrote, “The two incidents you cite do not meet the conditions for recusal. As I have stated publicly, I had nothing whatsoever to do with the flying of that flag. I was not even aware of the upside-down flag until it was called to my attention.”

Is there anyone else, other than John Roberts, who might have some sort of power to take action here

Anyone come to mind, anyone at all https://t.co/Ebs2K0vmZ2

— Jay Willis (@jaywillis) May 30, 2024

Speaking of recusals: Did anyone else catch that Council Member Tanya Woo recused herself from a procedural vote to delay the gig worker minimum wage repeal in Tuesday’s full council meeting? As I reported, the executive director of the Seattle Ethics and Elections Commission said Woo should recuse herself because of her immediate family’s direct financial interest in the bill, but she decided to get a “second opinion” from the whole commission. It sounded like they had not advised her quite yet, but her recent recusal could indicate that she will not vote on the bill at full council next week, which would likely tank it. I asked for Woo to comment Wednesday afternoon and have not heard back. 

Let’s go, workers: IAFF Boeing Fire Fighters Local I-66 have until 3 pm today to vote on a tentative agreement with their bosses at Boeing. Workers have put up with some shit for safety improvements and wage increases—they make 30% less than their industry peers. As you may remember, Boeing threw a tantrum and locked out 125 firefighters and emergency medical workers earlier this month. Then, last week Boeing offered a contract so offensive that workers “overwhelmingly” rejected it in a vote. We’ll know how they feel about Boeing and their bargaining unit’s latest deal sometime today. 

Got this stuck in my head:

The Stranger

Seattle Chief of Police Adrian Diaz is toast, at least as the city’s top hog, according to a source.

by Ashley Nerbovig

As first reported by The Stranger, Seattle Chief of Police Adrian Diaz stepped down from his position on Tuesday amid a flurry of lawsuits over a culture of sexism and racism at the Seattle Police Department (SPD) and rumors about an inappropriate relationship with a top aide.

King County Sheriff Sue Rahr has stepped up to replace him as Interim Chief of Police, Mayor Bruce Harrell announced at a press conference Wednesday. Harrell emphasized her expertise in recruitment, particularly as it relates to hiring women. 

Harrell said Rahr, the former Executive Director of the Washington State Criminal Justice Training Commission, has no plans to apply for the top job permanently, and he expects to keep her in the role for up to six months as the City launches a national search for a new permanent police chief. Harrell said the department plans to consider internal candidates, but he pretty clearly gave a preference to external applications, saying he had concerns that an internal candidate couldn’t make the type of cultural changes that SPD requires.

While discussing Diaz’s demotion, Harrell said the chief inherited a cultural problem at SPD. Harrell stressed his confidence in Diaz and announced that Diaz would stay on to work on special assignments for SPD with the Mayor’s Office. The Mayor gave no details about the duties of that role, which rank Diaz would assume, or whether he’d keep his approximately $370,000 per year salary. Those decisions would be left up to Rahr, who steps into the role of Interim Chief first thing Thursday. 

Harrell denied that any one thing led to Diaz stepping down, but he did say the number of investigations and complaints against the chief would distract him from running the Seattle Police Department effectively. Harrell also said keeping Diaz as head of the department could lead people with complaints to fear retaliation. 

The announcement comes the day after the Office of Inspector General (OIG) announced plans to investigate a complaint against Diaz over allegations about his hiring of a top aide, with whom he allegedly had an intimate relationship. The investigation breathes new life into the rumors about the relationship, which Diaz had ferociously tried to quash last year, and which an employee admitted to inventing.

Still, the new OIG investigation comes after seven employees filed claims and lawsuits against Diaz for fostering a sexist and racist working environment at SPD and retaliating against officers who spoke up. These complaints led the Mayor to hire an outside firm to investigate the allegations, an investigation which is still ongoing. Earlier in the month in an interview with KOMO, Harrell promised to let the investigation play out and afford Diaz “due process,” but he noted that the allegations had gotten his administration’s attention.

Near the end of the press conference, SPD Community Outreach Coordinator Victoria Beach laid into Harrell for Diaz’s demotion, saying the investigation into the allegations hadn’t yet finished. 

“This is wrong. Nobody is safe in the Seattle Police Department, nobody,” Beach said. 

The Stranger

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