Adventures that require a bit more time, money, and/or a willing Grindr date.

by Stranger Staff

Oh, hi! You’re done already? You’ve completed all 95 tasks that precede this section and now you’re looking for even more to do? Look at you, you little overachiever! The fun doesn’t have to end. These tasks require a bit more effort, but they’re so worth it if you have the time and money.

Dance to “Feelin’ Like” in a Hot Tub Boat on Lake Union 

Lake Union

The coolest thing I’ve ever done in Seattle is hot tub boat around Lake Union. Now, there are two different companies who offer SITTING IN A HOT TUB AND MOTOR- BOATING AROUND LAKE UNION, which is amazing to me. Two different companies are competing for this market and I’ve gotta tell you: one is blowing the other out of the water. One company allows you to bring booze; the other doesn’t. One company’s tubs are heated by an ACTUAL FIRE in a wood-burning stove on the boat; the other’s tubs are electric? Unclear, but I hear they get cold fast. You should book with Lake Union Hot Tub Boats. (I am not getting paid by Lake Union Hot Tub Boats to say that, but do you see me out here, LUHTB? Girl’s got a birthday coming up!) The thing about hot tub boats is that they are expensive and have become more so in the past four years. It’s $400 for two hours with six people. Not cheap! But let me tell you, watching your friend do a backflip into Lake Union? Pretty badass. Dancing to Bad Colours and Jarv Dee’s “Feelin’ Like” blasting from the provided Bluetooth speaker in a hot tub in the middle of Lake Union? Pretty awesome. Realizing that you’re outta booze, so you gotta putter your hot tub vessel to the boats-only lake convenience store and as the attendant on the dock if you can make a quick beer run even though you’re technically driving a hot tub and not a boat? Well, that’s pretty embarrassing, but it makes for a great story. (RACHEL STEVENS)

Walk the Whole Olmsted 50K

Various locations

The Olmsteds are well known for designing big splashy East Coast shit like New York’s Central Park and Boston’s string of parks known as the Emerald Necklace, but the brothers also spent more than three decades designing 37 of our (objectively more) gorgeous Seattle parks. Last November, to celebrate 120 years of the Olmsted Parks contract, the Mountaineers’ Seattle Urban Walk Committee and Friends of Seattle’s Olmsted Parks mapped out a 50-kilometer (31-mile) walking route that hits over two dozen of those parks. The route is broken up into five 5-7 mile sections, beginning at the Ballard Locks and ending all the way down at Rainier Beach Playfield in South Seattle. It was specifically designed to be tackled in bite-sized chunks with plenty of scenery, treats, toilets, and Seattle landmarks along the way. The Seattle Urban Walk Committee hosts official walks, which you can find on the website, but it’s encouraged to go with friends on your own time. Personally, I’m trying to wrangle a group for a DIY 50k run of it this summer. (KATHLEEN TARRANT)

Scuba Dive to the Toilet off Alki

West Seattle

If you’re dive-certified (or endeavoring to become so), you should explore what’s known as the Alki Junkyard, a dive site full of critters and old appliances off the western end of Alki Beach. I’ll be honest, I haven’t actually seen this “toilet” with my own eyes, but my dad has (even if it was 50 years ago), and the mystery makes the murky depths all the more enticing, right? As any PNW diver will tell you, everything is covered in mud, and that’s on a good day. Think of it as a treasure hunt. The internet does confirm sightings of spot prawns, ratfish, squid, wolf eels, octopus, and big skates (which are fish similar in appearance to sting rays, not what Shawn Kemp wears to cruise down the boardwalk). (SHANNON LUBETICH)

Suck a Dick in Volunteer Park. For History’s Sake!

Capitol Hill

Should an earthquake destroy the city, there are some important historical locations and traditions that will need to be rebuilt. Nestled in the gayborhood of Capitol Hill, Volunteer Park features a landmark conservatory, a stunning view from a historic water tower, and a vibrant past of queers getting off in the bushes. The park was founded in 1876 and ever since, gays have been getting a mouthful behind the beautiful dahlias and taking it in from behind amongst the bursting rhododendrons. To be clear, I’m “not” telling you to commit any “acts of public indecency,” I’m just saying that if you’ve met your Grindr hookup in a shadowy shrub along the duck ponds, you’ve successfully contributed to an important oral history. (NICO SWENSON)

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The Stranger